I have come to learn and begin doing a few things in the passed month or so that have never before been part of my life. It’s wild how God answers you when you cry out to Him. I’m thankful that he hears me and actually believes in me to carry out His will. I wonder where I would be had I not cried out to Him recently. “GOD USE ME! I feel like I’m stuck in my house.” I don’t have a regular baby sitter which makes it quite difficult to volunteer my time to do anything in the ministry field. Some people are able to pack their children around with them, I am not one of those parents! From time to I am able to bring them along but when it really comes to putting in hours of hard work (i.e. cleaning the church, storehouse organization, community outreach) it’s extremely difficult and frustrating. Now don’t get me wrong. I love raising my children in the ways of the Lord and that’s a lifelong calling in itself but I’ve always felt a hunger to reach others. I am able to volunteer my time and heart in the children’s ministry during services because my children are all able to attend class. That is another thing I am thankful for. The people who volunteer to LOVE my children while I am LOVING others. Thank you for following God. But recently I just didn’t feel fulfilled in what I was doing for Christ. I was teaching, learning, singing and loving all in His name but felt almost as if I was not fulfilling my purpose for Him. So I told God I needed more. Please use me Lord in more ways. Little did I know He had already answered my prayer, I just hadn’t seen the result…until recently. 
   I partied in my college days but it was in my mid 20′s that I turned my life over to the Lord. I made quite a reputation for myself too. I had those certain friends that you were only so close to but partied quite often with. Let’s name one friend Asia (lol). Asia was the “pretty” party friend. She did well in school too. There was always a slight jealous streak that ran through me when her and I were out, but not enough to hurt our friendship. I don’t even know if she knew I felt this way. She does now! But anyway, she seemed to really have it all together despite her life lacking God. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be like that. I now know it’s because I KNEW God and she had never experienced Him. That made life harder for me, knowing God but running from Him. So Asia graduates with her Bachelor’s degree, has a baby, becomes engaged, moves away and begins her career with her new little family. She seemed to be the strongest woman I knew. But little did I know she had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia the previous year. Somehow she balanced the pain as she raised her son, loved her fiance and excelled in her career. Fearless, but still…how did she do it without God? I was dumbfounded.
   A few years have passed and during them I gave my life to Christ. It was hard being “different” than my party friends at first but soon I grew in the Lord and began praying for them. I would ask Him for the strength and words to be able to witness to my friends during our seldom visits. Nothing ever happened though. No words. No strength. Did I not believe enough? Why couldn’t I seem to utter up the courage to stand strong for my God? I wasn’t sinning, I just wasn’t saying HEY THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE! About a month after a out of town visit with 3 old friends I received a text from Asia, “Hey I’ve never asked this but can you pray for me?” YES a thousand times over! I told her of course and that I’ve been praying for her for years, she didn’t have to even ask, I cared for her. She eventually told me a little about the battle she had been enduring.   I didn’t know what to say. I simply let her know I was praying for her. Why in the world could God not give me any words to say? I was frustrated but kept asking Him to work through me to encourage her. A few days later I still had no type of great knowledge to decipher to her, then a song came on. “Higher than the mountains that I face. Stronger than the power of the grave.” Asia instantly came to mind. I looked up her local KLove station and sent it to her in a text. That’s it. I still had no enlightening message for her. I didn’t hear back from her that day so I felt a little discouraged. Little did I know God began working in her. The next morning I received a text saying she had listened to KLove that entire day and hadn’t felt that good in weeks. God was moving! Soon after this event Asia really opened up. There was an entire side of her she had never revealed to me. For the passed year she had began praying daily and praying with her little boy. She knows there is power in prayer so she began seeking a relationship with God.  Beyond that was a struggle for her. I would send little encouraging words and scriptures to her and send books, movies and music through the mail. I wanted her to have more than prayer in her life. I wanted her to experience the God I love so dear but I couldn’t be there to have a face to face relationship with her and her family. God was using me but it was long distance! 
   Another storm hit her life and she chose to confide in me. I thought, “Wow God, you sure are putting me on the spot!” If I recall correctly, I asked Him to. Never pray for something you’re not serious about because God will test you. He knew my heart yearned to bring Asia’s heart to His heart so He saw it fit to begin the transformation. The devil began hitting Asia’s life as hard as he could. Her and I have began to grow into a deeper spiritual friendship with one another and Christ. However, the question of her ever accepting Him into her heart lingered in the air. When would be the right time to ask? Would the opportunity ever present itself? 
   As I mentioned before, we were party friends. One of the things we loved to do was dance… preferably to hiphop/rap music. Asia is the only close friend I have that still enjoys it so when I found out The Higher Learning Tour was going to be in her town I asked if she’d like to go. The Higher Learning Tour consisted of 3 Christian Hip Hop artists, Propaganda, Dee-1 & Lecrae and a Comedian, Bone Hampton. Next, I asked my baby brother if he’d like to go as well & he invited his friend who was also fresh in finding Jesus. This event was turning into a pretty big deal! I wanted God to move move move! Needless to say, this event would be the first time Asia and I had ever been OUT together sober. Sad, but true. I really needed God to reveal Himself and His movement. Have you ever seen girls cry at a hip hop concert? No? You should have been with us. Incredible. But the question of salvation still lingered in the air. 
   The next morning we attended Asia’s new church. She had only been there once before, not knowing anyone. That’s brave, that’s hungry. Once service began the Holy Spirit really started to sweep across the room. Instead of preaching a short film was shown then the pastor gave alter call. I so badly prayed for Asia and my brothers friend to feel God tugging on their hearts. The praise and worship leader began singing one last time. Should I say something to Asia? God what do I do?!?! Little did I know she felt His tug all along. She turned and looked at me…”I want to go up.” I grabbed her hand and we both fell apart at the alter together.
   She eventually revealed to me that before this journey began she doubted so many choices I had made and in the ways I chose to believe. When I thought I wasn’t standing strong for Christ I actually was. Asia saw it every day in every choice I made. I was witnessing without even thinking I was having any effect on her. Little did I know God was using me to help bring Asia home. She was the first person I have ever led to Christ. God knew when I would be ready to lead and I can’t thank Him enough that He chose Asia to do it with. 
   The moral of the story….well…little do you know how God uses you. I thought I wasn’t fulfilling the call I felt, but God was using it in a different manner. Isn’t that like Him? Jesus in disguise! Always be ready and always be willing!